Week 29 of #52Ancestors Challenge: Cousins
When you embark on a DNA journey, you never quite know where the path will lead. Sometimes the most meaningful discoveries come from the matches that initially seem to raise more questions than answers. That’s exactly what happened when I discovered a cousin connection that would challenge everything I thought I knew about genetic relationships and family connections.
The Unexpected Match That Changed Everything
While reviewing DNA matches on 23andMe during my ongoing search for the mysterious Mr. Max (Clifford’s biological father), I discovered something that stopped me in my tracks: a third cousin match who shared 2.05% DNA (approximately 151 cM) with Clifford’s grandson, whom I’ll call ZM for privacy.
What made this match particularly intriguing wasn’t just the genetic connection—it was the story behind it. While ZM’s ancestry composition showed 100% European heritage, this match—let’s call him Mr. C—showed 40% Sub-Saharan African ancestry. In the world of genetic genealogy, these kinds of unexpected combinations often hold the keys to solving family mysteries.
A Phone Call That Revealed So Much More
This unexpected discovery deserved investigation, so I reached out to Mr. C. To my surprise, he responded quickly and offered to speak with us directly. What unfolded during that phone call demonstrates the incredible power of DNA to bring people together across time, circumstance, and completely different life experiences.
During our conversation, Mr. C revealed something extraordinary: he was adopted and had only recently found his birth mother—just six months earlier! Since his birth mother was Caucasian, he suggested this was likely where his genetic connection to ZM originated. But what happened next absolutely amazed me.
Mr. C spontaneously decided to conference his birth mother into our call! Can you imagine? Here we were, strangers connected only by shared DNA segments, and suddenly we had four people on one phone call, piecing together family connections that had been separated by adoption, time, and circumstance. I was beyond excited!
The Pitts Connection: A Potential Family Lead
During that remarkable three-way conversation, Mr. C’s birth mother shared that she had been raised by her maternal grandfather, a Mr. Pitts. This information was potentially significant for our search.
But before getting too excited about any specific relationship, I needed to verify what that 151 cM of shared DNA actually meant. The DNA amounts suggested a third-cousin relationship rather than second cousins, which would have shown a higher shared centimorgan amount. Using Blaine T. Bettinger’s Shared cM Project 4.0 tool, I discovered that while 23andMe proposed a third cousin relationship, this actually represented only a 16% probability based on the 151 cM they shared. The relationship could range from great-great-aunt/uncle to third cousin to half second cousin once removed.
If ZM and Mr. C truly were third cousins sharing a set of great-great-grandparents, could Mr. C’s great-grandfather (the man who raised his mother) be either ZM’s unknown great-grandfather or perhaps his brother?
The Beauty of DNA: Truth Across Generations
What strikes me most about this discovery is how it illustrates the fundamental power of genetic genealogy. DNA testing reveals biological relationships regardless of what names appear on paper records, adoption papers, or family stories that families pass down through generations. Even if Mr. Max used a different name, if someone altered documents, or if families carefully guarded secrets, the genetic connections remain intact across generations, waiting for discovery.
Mr. C’s story—his adoption, finding his birth mother after decades, and then connecting with our family through DNA—shows how cousins can find each other in the most unexpected ways. His journey from not knowing his biological family to suddenly joining our genetic detective story happened because shared DNA segments pass down through generations.
Cousins Across the Atlantic: The Swedish Connection
While the Mr. Max investigation focuses on American DNA matches, I’ve been simultaneously trying to connect with Swedish cousins to validate my research on the Sven Mattisson line. This presents its own unique challenges when seeking cousin connections across both an ocean and language barriers.
Since I discovered that Sven Mattisson likely fathered my great-great-grandfather through those 19th-century Swedish church records, I’ve actively searched for genetic cousins who could confirm this paper trail with DNA evidence. The theory holds solid—the Swedish records clearly show authorities declared Sven Mattisson the father of Sissa Andersdotter’s child in 1867—but genetic genealogy demands more than just paper documentation.
I’ve identified several promising Swedish connections through MyHeritage’s new Cousin FinderTM tool that launched this year. This feature connects people based on matching family trees rather than DNA, and it’s led me to some fascinating potential cousins who appear to be third cousins once or twice removed based on our genealogical relationship.
The exciting part? I’ve spoken with a couple of these Swedish cousins directly, and our family trees align beautifully. When I trace their ancestry back to the Kristianstad area and they trace mine forward from Sven Mattisson, our lines intersect exactly where they should if we’re truly genetic cousins sharing common ancestors in 19th-century Sweden.
But here’s the challenge that many genetic genealogists face when working with tree-based matches: these Swedish cousins have decided to keep their DNA results private. We connected through the Cousin Finder’s tree-matching algorithm, but I can’t see any DNA connection whatsoever. Based on our genealogical relationship, I suspect we would match around the 50 cM range—exactly the kind of substantial genetic evidence that could validate what the church records suggest about the Sven Mattisson connection.
Without being able to see actual DNA matches, I can’t definitively prove our genetic relationship. It’s particularly frustrating because these could be substantial matches for confirming the Mattisson connection if only I could access their DNA comparison data.
It’s like having a key that almost fits the lock, but not quite being able to turn it. These potential connections are meaningful enough to pursue—they’re not just random genealogical coincidences—but without seeing the actual DNA match through MyHeritage, I can’t conclusively say “Yes, this confirms the Sven Mattisson connection.”
This experience has taught me something important about cousin relationships in genetic genealogy: sometimes the most promising matches are also the most elusive. Privacy concerns are completely understandable—not everyone wants their genetic information to be accessible to distant American cousins they’ve never met. But for those of us trying to bridge continents and centuries through DNA, these privacy walls can be particularly challenging.
I continue to hope that someday these Swedish cousins might be willing to share more detailed DNA information. In the meantime, I’m building out the Swedish family tree as much as possible, hoping to identify other potential cousin connections who might be more open to genetic genealogy collaboration.
Cousins as Clues: The Ongoing Investigation
This cousin connection became a crucial clue in the larger mystery of Mr. Max’s identity. By systematically analyzing DNA matches like Mr. C, filtering maternal from paternal connections, and building out family trees for genetic cousins, we’re slowly piecing together the puzzle of Clifford’s biological father.
The Swedish cousin connections work differently but serve a similar purpose—they’re helping to validate the paper trail I’ve built through Swedish church records. While I can’t see the DNA evidence yet, having multiple Swedish family trees that align with mine provides important corroboration for the Sven Mattisson connection.
The process involves clustering DNA matches, eliminating known family lines (like the French Canadian/Cajun ancestry from ZM’s grandmother’s side), and focusing on the remaining matches that should theoretically connect through Mr. Max. Each cousin match represents a potential branch of a family tree that might intersect with our mystery man.
The Human Side of Genetic Genealogy
Beyond the science and the detective work, this experience reminded me that every DNA match tells a human story. Mr. C wasn’t just a collection of genetic markers and centimorgan amounts—he was someone who may have spent his life wondering about his biological family, who had recently reunited with his birth mother, and who generously shared his story with complete strangers.
Similarly, my Swedish cousin connections have shown me how genealogy transcends borders and languages. These Swedish researchers, working with their own family histories in their native language, willingly shared their family trees and stories with an American cousin they’d never met. Their openness to explore potential family connections, even without DNA confirmation, demonstrates the universal human desire to understand our origins.
Mr. C’s willingness to help, his birth mother’s openness to join our call, and their shared interest in family connections show how genetic cousins can become allies in solving family mysteries. Sometimes the cousins we never knew existed become the key to unlocking the stories we’ve been trying to tell for generations.
The Investigation Continues
Despite this tantalizing lead, our search for Mr. Max remains ongoing. The DNA evidence has provided intriguing possibilities—particularly the connection to Mr. C and potentially the Pitts family—but we haven’t yet been able to conclusively identify Clifford’s father.
Meanwhile, the Swedish cousin connections remain tantalizingly incomplete. I continue to hope that someday these Swedish cousins might be willing to share their DNA results, or that other Mattisson descendants will test their DNA and provide the confirmation I’m seeking. Each potential connection brings me closer to validating what the 19th-century church records suggest about Sven Mattisson being my great-great-grandfather.
What this cousin connection has taught me is that genetic genealogy is as much about human connections as it is about scientific analysis. Each DNA match represents not just a potential clue to solving a mystery, but a person with their own family story, their own questions, and their own journey of discovery.
As I continue following these genetic breadcrumbs, I’m reminded that sometimes the most unexpected cousin matches—the ones that initially seem impossible or confusing—turn out to be the ones that lead us exactly where we need to go.
Lessons Learned From Cousin Hunting
These cousin discovery experiences have taught me three valuable lessons that apply to anyone doing genetic genealogy research:
Lesson 1: The Most Confusing DNA Matches Often Hold the Biggest Breakthroughs
When I first saw Mr. C’s match with its puzzling racial composition differences, my initial reaction was confusion. How could someone with 40% Sub-Saharan African ancestry be a genetic cousin to someone with 100% European heritage? It seemed like an error or coincidence. But that confusion was actually a signal that this match deserved deeper investigation. The most surprising discoveries often come from the matches that don’t make immediate sense—they force us to dig deeper and ask better questions.
Lesson 2: Sometimes the Best Evidence Comes From the Most Unexpected Sources
No amount of traditional genealogy research could have provided what that spontaneous three-way phone call delivered. I had been methodically working through DNA matches, building family trees, and analyzing centimorgan amounts. But the real breakthrough came from human generosity—Mr. C’s willingness to conference his birth mother into our call created an instant bridge across decades of separation. Sometimes the most valuable genealogy tools aren’t databases or DNA tests, but the willingness of strangers to share their stories.
Lesson 3: Tree-Based Research and DNA Evidence Work Best as Partners, Not Competitors
My Swedish cousin connections perfectly illustrate this principle. Even without DNA confirmation, having multiple Swedish family trees that align with mine provides important validation for the Sven Mattisson connection. The church records, family trees, and potential DNA evidence all point in the same direction. While I’d love to see those 50 cM matches confirmed, the tree-based research stands on its own merit and strengthens the overall case. Good genealogy combines multiple types of evidence rather than relying on any single source.
Your Cousin Stories
Have you made surprising cousin connections through DNA testing? Or discovered family relationships that challenged what you thought you knew about your family tree? I’d love to hear about your unexpected cousin discoveries in the comments below!
The beauty of genetic genealogy is that every day brings the possibility of a new cousin match, a new clue, or a new piece of the family puzzle. Whether it’s a close cousin who shares family stories or a distant cousin who holds the key to a decades-old mystery, these genetic connections continue to reshape how we understand our family histories.
This post is part of the ongoing “Mystery of Mr. Max” series. To catch up on previous installments, check out [Week 6 – The Mysterious Mr. Max] and [Week 16-17 – Genetic Breadcrumbs]. For the Swedish side of the family, see [Week 5 – Chasing My Swedish Roots] and [Week 11 – Breaking Through the Brick Wall] about discovering Sven Mattisson as Sven Svensson’s father.
- 23andMe, Inc., “Ancestry Composition for ZM and Mr. C,” genetic testing report, 23andMe (https://you.23andme.com/ancestry/ : accessed 21 Jul 2025), analysis based on autosomal DNA test kits, unknown kit numbers, sample collection dates and processed dates. ↩︎
- Blaine T. Bettinger, “The Shared cM Project 4.0 tool v4 with relationship probabilities,” database, DNA Painter (https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4 : accessed 21 Jul 2025), analysis for 151 cM shared DNA; citing Blaine T. Bettinger, “The Shared cM Project Version 4.0,” The Genetic Genealogist, 27 March 2020. ↩︎
- MyHeritage Ltd., “Cousin Finder,” database, MyHeritage (accessed 21 Jul 2025), match suggestion for Father and Swedish Cousin, showing 3rd Cousin relationship through Mattis Ingemansson & Karin Andersdotter; based on family tree comparison. ↩︎
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